Food allergies suck. Hardcore.

Dealing with kids with food allergies is hard. Lots of people these days have to do it and let me tell you, it sucks balls. It isn't as hard when it's only one allergy, or even two. It still stinks and you end up having to plan around it, but at least if they're simple things to avoid, like kiwi or something, ok. You avoid kiwi and call it good.

But what happens when your kid is apparently allergic to half the living world? It's a major pain in the ass that takes over your whole existence. Well, that's what it feels like anyway. Our older two, A & the R, have confirmed allergies to some major foods, like chicken, pork, and bananas (bananas?!?! ), as well as some other annoying things like spices and nuts. Our youngest, M, is now showing reactions to foods too, but is not diagnosed yet. But our middle child has violent reactions to foods and has reactions to things that were not available on the scratch test.

Ever hear of annatto? It's the stuff used to color foods yellow and orange, like every yellow/orange cheese on the planet. It's also in most dairy products as a coloring for vanilla (why they don't leave these things pure white is beyond me...) as well as in lemon, pineapple, etc. flavored things. And food dyes. Ever tried finding prepackaged anything without food dyes? It's like finding a quarter in your couch. There's plenty of change in there, but the chances that the coins you dig up are actually quarters and not useless freaking pennies? Astronomical.

Just taking our kids out to eat is a major production. Never mind keeping them occupied while waiting for food. Or making sure they don't act like ravenous banshees attacking their food with their fingers as if we haven't fed them in weeks. That's child's play, pun very much intended. Ordering from the standard kids' menu in a restaurant? That's like disarming a nuclear weapon. With a hammer. Grilling our poor server about what spices they use on their burgers and what kind of white cheese they have is not my idea of fun.

Even cooking at home is no easy feat, so it isn't exactly an escape from the restaurant hell. First you have to buy food that's safe, which means agonizing hours reading ingredient lists in the store. And let me tell you, most of the foods that are safe include the word "organic" or something similarly overpriced, so our food budget is ridiculous. Then I have to cook the bloody food, making sure no one's allergens cross anyone else's cooking pot or plate. Then they can eat. It actually kinda makes going out to eat seem simple sometimes.

Anyone else out there battling the food allergy craptacular? Any thoughts on how to conserve my sanity? (What little may be left...)

Uh, hi?

I've tried blogging before. It's never worked out for one reason or another... Ok, to be honest, I'm lazy to begin with, and I have 3 kids. I forget, I get busy, no one comments and I get discouraged. But those blogs were for other people, to connect; this one is for me. So I'm hoping it goes a little better. I make no promises, but hey.

I'm never sure how to start a blog. How does one introduce oneself to the entire Internetz without being all, "Hey, dude! You should totally read my life story, I posted it to Blogger for the whole world to see!" Creepy much? But I guess a little overview would be helpful since, when I get to posting about my family and my neurotic pets and the weird neighbors who let their kids play in the road at midnight, you should have some frame of reference. I'm going to confuse anyone who reads this enough without you wondering, who the hell are these people?!?!

You can call me Geek. I wear that title with probably a bit too much pride. I dig books, comics (ahem, graphic novels now, though when I was a kid collecting the bloody things they were comics, dangit!), movies, TV shows, anything and everything sci-fi and fantasy. Even if I don't particularly like the series or universe or character, I appreciate its contribution to the vast wealth of Geekdom. I don't know as much as others, I'm not an ubergeek, but my heart has always been faithful to the nerdy. <3

I have three kids, all girls. (Someone save me!) I love them more than life itself, and they are probably the #1 cause of hair loss and eye twitching in my house. I think it's karma. My mother wished children like myself on me so many times as a child/teenager that I got not one, but three of them. Thanks, Mom. As of right now, the oldest, A, is 7. The middle child, R, is 6. And my youngest (but not last if my partner has anything to say on the matter), M, is 3.

Part of the reason for starting this blog is to pour out my joys and frustrations over raising these three unique and challenging human beings into something approximating responsible adults. Frankly, I'll settle for anything short of rampaging wolf-children set on destroying the world. The other part, ironically, is to escape from Mommyland every once in a while. I don't think I do this enough, and that's pretty much bullshit. Everyone needs a break, and hopefully, this is mine. Welcome to my messed up, messy little corner of the world.